An Ex Marine

I’ll probably get a lot of hate for this one. I’ll start with the part you hate and then explain why I’m at this point. I am an ex Marine. I know most of you probably heard the phrase “once a Marine, always a Marine.” I used to spout that crap as well whenever someone used the term ex Marine. While the other branches of the military focus on training you to be the best soldier, seaman, or airman, the Marines do it differently. Rather than using what you have to offer, they destroy your old self in order to build you back up how they want you. It’s not just a job like the other branches are. It’s supposed to be your whole life. Every fiber of your being is supposed to be about the Marines. From the second you get off the bus at boot camp until the day you leave the Marines altogether, you are living in a different culture than your fellow Americans. You’re taught, and you believe that you’re better than everyone else. You’re faster, stronger, and more gung ho than the other branches, and of course civilians. 

While I was definitely not a stellar Marine by any means, I fit into the culture well. Most of what I said in that first paragraph is pretty common knowledge. Marines get more respect from civilians than the other branches because we have a reputation for being cocky and bring the best at whatever we do. The Marines are the smallest branch by far, and even the motto is well known. The few, the proud, the Marines. Even the uniforms are more recognized than the other branches. I thought I was better than others because I earned that title. I thought my opinion mattered more, I thought I was the shit after I got out because I served in the Marines. 

Let’s talk about what I saw from my fellow Marines during my 4 years. Let’s start with boot camp. I saw multiple attempted suicides and those guys being removed quickly. I was hit in the face by my drill instructor. I saw other Marines hit by them. I heard the N word from them and the recruits I was with. I saw the one vegetarian Buddhist in my platoon get ragged on for his religion and for being a vegetarian. Boot camp was only thirteen weeks, and a lot of it is lost in my memories somewhere more. The schools I went to weren’t bad. I didn’t see much of anything bad there besides all of us at 18 getting hammered and getting into fights. Not professional at all, but nothing out of the ordinary. My first duty station was a different story. My stories aren’t even that bad in comparison to what I’ve heard from guys in the infantry, so keep that in mind  

One of the guys in my unit bought a new mustang. He loved that car. He was dumb and left it running once while he ran into the gas station. Someone stole the car, but the only description he could give was a black male. When he told everyone back at work what happened, another one of the guys tied a noose, loaded it into his pickup with his pistol and a bunch of other Marines, and stated “let’s go find the (n word) and string him up.” He did this for a couple days before our command told him to stop. No punishment or anything for looking to go commit murder and a hate crime. Just told to stop. This same guy also brought in laminated paperwork to show everyone the slaves his family used to own. He was proud of it and started on numerous occasions that he missed out on owning his own. Racism, check. 

I’ll skip to my buddies story from the infantry for this part. His FIRST DAY checking into his unit and a sergeant (I think he said Sergeant, but I’m not positive on that one) was being taken out of the barracks in handcuffs. All the time saying “yeah, I raped him, so what?” A sergeant had raped one of his Marines. Sexual assault, check. 

A staff sergeant was talking to a PFC that had one parent that was black and one white. The staff sergeant was asking about it and made the comment “yea, I knew the milk got dirty somewhere along the way.” More racism, check. 

I have too many stories from female Marines that were either victims of sexual harassment or assault from their fellow Marines. I actually don’t know of any female Marines from my time in, or I met after that weren’t victims of this. It is unfortunately commonplace in the Marines.

I don’t know the complete truth about this since I didn’t see it, but supposedly a Marine was caught in the barracks watching gay porn, and was ridiculed for it, and eventually given the boot due to don’t ask don’t tell still being in effect. This wasn’t 50 years ago. Not even 20 years ago. 

These were every day occurrences in the Marines less than 20 years ago, and from what I’ve seen and heard, not much has changed. While the other branches have made steps to make their branches more inclusive and diverse, the Marines have failed to make any real efforts that weren’t forced on them  they were the last to accept women in combat roles, the last to accept transgender people, and still have the least percentage of women in their ranks. It wasn’t long ago where drill instructors were caught putting recruits into clothes dryers simply because they were Muslim. The Marines in Japan are always getting arrested for raping underage girls.

The Marines were such a huge part of my identity that it’s been the hardest part of me to let go of. I was proud to be a Marine and what I thought they stood for. I was brainwashed into believing the Marines were more. The last straw was listening to the rhetoric after the January 6 insurrection. The rhetoric and the number of Marines I saw there and arrested on the news. I wasn’t happy with the Marines before then, but I always thought at least there was the oath we took to protect this country, its people, and the constitution. It was too much for me. Seeing those traitors try and upend the election and overturn the results based on lies from trump was enough for me to use that term that isn’t supposed to exist. I’m an ex Marine. It’s part of my new identity now. It’s part of why I’m a work in progress.